Whenever I go to the toilet and ask people if I can see their poo, I notice something...
most people donot know how to wipe their keaster proporly.
here is my tips so u can manage your post-pooping routine effectively and cleanerly.
1. DAB
You see, when you first drop the tonnage into the toilet there is often collateral poopage, or shitty shrapnel if you will.
If you go straight into back and forth vigourous wiping you might just be spreading it around, so instead start with gentle dabbing.
Think of it like caressing a beautiful dark complexioned woman.
2. Anus Wiping is a mArathon, not a sprInt!
Take your time for heaven's sake. Make sure to get all the remnants and you will have a lesser chance of skid-marking up your white robe!
3. Consider the Military Technique
In the intergalactic army, sometimes they have to make due with little TP rations, so if you're ever stuck with just a sheet or two you can poke your finger threw the wipe, scoop it out of your crack, then pull it off your finger to wipe off the choclately load.
4. Lift your bag
Not only is holding your marble sack fun on many levels, if you keep it out of the way whilst cack-cleaning you will save yourself a scrote-load of messy.
5. Pre-emtive Swipe
I've found that if I take some un-soiled toilet water and wipe it on my bunghole area before evacuating my bowels, it makes for a much cleaner surface to begin with.
Give some of these a try and tell me your results... if you have the balls!
I'm Keith Dumbuck(s).
